You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
