I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize