how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
