im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
