so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
