i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
