My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just took my morning after pill in the library
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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