I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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