you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
