im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize