Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
