just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
