but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize