my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My ATM looks so different sober.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
