you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
