For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
