I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
