we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Pooping to opera.
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