This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
