im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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