She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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