What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
