like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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