So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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