I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
