Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
