did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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