dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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