Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
