he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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