Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
