I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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