They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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