We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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