Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
