What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
