id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
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She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
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Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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