If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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