HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i would one night stand the shit outta him
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
