Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
