You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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