worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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