I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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