I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
