Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
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