Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
