I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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