Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize