i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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