wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
