my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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