i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's never too late to be topless.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
BRING THE BAGELS
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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