6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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