you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
