did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
