final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
