What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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