i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
