i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize