i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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