i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
