then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize