Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My life is pants optional.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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